ONE YEAR POST TRANSPLANT

Wow, where to even start?! It's kind of difficult for me to look back at this last year. I've read my entire blog over this week. It really puts into perspective just how much not only I, but we as a family went through. There were many occasions I was ready to throw in the towel and give up (the easy thing to do anyway), but you all simply weren't going to let that happen. There came a point where I had to make a decision; I was either going to fight through it all or I wasn't and if the latter then why bother at all? When I was diagnosed they laid it out to me in very simple terms; you will endure 6-8 rounds of chemotherapy, WE will find you a bone marrow donor, then you will have a transplant. Never in a million years did it cross my mind that I may not ever find a donor...it was never presented that way so why would I? Today I know exactly how lucky I am to have not only found a donor, but one perfectly matched to me 100%. Some people never get a donor at all. And so it was, I went through my rounds of chemotherapy, they did find me a donor and I had my transplant just like they said. Not without complications of course, I mean what kind of cancer treatment would that be? HaHa! But, I fought through it all, and when I say I fought through it what that really means to me is I put up with all the pain, vomiting, rashes, taking an obscene amount of medicine, infusion after infusion of magnesium, potassium, IVIG, bone marrow biopsies, spinal taps, pneumonia...twice, shingles, muscular atrophy, difficulty walking, emotional pain, anxiety...need I go on? What a roller coaster ride of a year it has been! There were ABSOLUTELY days I prayed the good Lord would take me home, days I thought I'd never make it through another day, days I thought to myself, "well, yes I made it through transplant but at what cost? To live crippled by these multiple symptoms I endure on a daily basis that were pure HELL!?" Those feelings were very real to me. My Mom and I were sitting in an ICU room while we waited for a regular room to be ready for me that my transplant would take place in and I remember saying "Mom, I'm terrified and don't think I can do this" and she said "Katie, don't you ever give up on me!" Probably the most heart wrenching thing you could ever hear your parent say to you. And that has stuck with me throughout my journey. Mom, I will NEVER give up on you! I was constantly reminded by MANY people to "take it ONE day at a time". Truer words have never been spoken! I'm proud of myself most of all. HERE I AM! ONE YEAR LATER! And I can tell you all IT DOES GET BETTER! Wow, never thought I'd ever say that! I feel great too! I'm down to one pill a day, I have joint pain but I can deal with that! All the burning I used to have in my gut and esophagus is completely gone. I do get heartburn occasionally but NORMAL people get that too! My CONSTANT nausea is no longer constant but occasionally now, I still vomit if my stomach doesn't like something I eat but at least I can eat "almost" anything I want now! I'm a healthy weight, my skin looks great (no graft vs host disease) and I'm ready to go back to work full time and back to being a full time mommy to RYAN AND RACHEL! They are beyond ready to have mommy back too! I wrote this blog to hopefully help someone else in this situation that thinks they can't do it or thinks "this will never get better". It does and it will...one day at a time. I'm sure I'll still have hiccups along the way but I know if I lived through this last year, I can LIVE through anything! Still Fighting, Katie